Chapter 12: To Feel Like a Man/Woman

Chapter 12

EPOV

Fucked.

I was royally and utterly fucked.

No ad-libs, variations, if, ands, or buts about it. Besides, Bella wasn't here anyway. I sitting up in my office; lights off, the blinds closed. It was drizzling outside and the sky was a dreary gray. The scene was pretty depressing and that's honestly how I felt right now.

I took a drag from my cigarette and a small sip of my gin and tonic. I was relying on anything to soothe my nerves, but nothing was working.

"Edward, are you okay?" Mrs. Cope called from the doorway. She was a sweet old lady in her early 60's with fiery red hair and light green eyes. People had often mistaken her for my grandmother. She often treated me as if I were her grandson and stuck with me through thick and thin. I guess this time was no different.

"You know everything's going to be alright?" She asked. Everyone was gone for the day and a part of me felt glad that she had decided to stay behind.

"I don't know about that." I sighed stubbing out the end of my cigarette. I had gone through the whole pack in the past two hours. Not the healthiest choice to make, but I was stressed beyond belief.

"So we lost a bit of money. It can't be that all bad right?" She asked.

"I don't think losing over three and a half million dollars is just a bit of money, now is it?" I replied, my tone void of any emotion. I watched as she gaped at me like a fish. No one had known the full extent of what was lost, but now that she knew, I figured it wouldn't be long before the rest of the company figured it out. She looked like she wanted to say more, but I shooed her away with a wave of my hand. I was in no mood for conversation. After she left, I laid my head in my hands and let out a shuddering breath, wondering how in the hell it even came to this point.

Riley Taylor was supposed to be one of our biggest clients; merging his company with ours to help us branch out across the country. His ideas were clean and efficient and the board and I saw fit that he would bring our company some much needed attention. Based on the statistics the board had mustered up, we could double/triple the profits we were making. His plans were great and we all had agreed that this merge was going to benefit everyone, although he happened to be the only one on the receiving end.

Everything seemed fine once the papers were signed, and everything was going to plan. Mr. Taylor seemed like an okay guy; hell, I even let his wife take Bella and I house hunting, but eventually I realized that things weren't beginning to add up.

Instead of gaining money, like I thought we would, we were losing money by the hundreds. We had recently lost a bit of money in the NASDAQ and NYSE due to our other investments, so we paid no mind. But when the hundreds quickly became thousands and eventually turned into a million, red flags were going up everywhere, and we all eventually came to the consensus that the board and I needed to sit and have a little chat with Mr. Taylor to ask him a few questions.

All the losses in the money just so happened to be in the departments he worked on. We questioned everyone and everything, my dad even coming in to sit for a while so we could get to the bottom of all of this. Just as we were supposed to have a meeting with Mr. Taylor, he stopped showing up. We tried calling, mail, even visiting his house, were we found nothing but a few empty boxes and an ugly Victorian carpet.

That asshole had scammed us. He appeared to have disappeared from the planet with no traces left behind and even his wife didn't seem to exist. Riley was a wolf in sheep's clothing and managed to pull the cover over our eyes. The sad part out of all of it was that you would have never suspected it. He had amazing credentials and even a recommendation from Yale.

Out of our total worth, he managed to scam off 3 ½ million from the company, and we were only worth 6, so you do the math. To some, that number may not seem like much, but try dividing that number among our hundreds of employees, maintenance workers, suppliers and still having some to put into our stocks.

That money had to be replaced someway, or we were going to go bankrupt and I had worked too hard to come let it all come crashing down. Since it was basically my company as it had been my grandfather's and his before, I had to come up with the money. My dad worked as a silent partner, so he helped me upfront the money while I paid the other half. I didn't think it was a problem considering my dad was helping me out, but we both ended up spending more than what we wanted to. And when I say more, more than a couple of thousands each between the two of us, just to get back on stable territory. I swore if I found Taylor's ass, I was going to beat him to a bloody pulp.

To bring it all together, try managing all of this without pissing off your pregnant, hormonal wife. No offense to pregnant women out there, but some days she seemed to be a huge pain in the ass, which usually resulted with me hiding up in my office.

Not only did I have to worry about what was going on at work, but now I had to try to survive the day without Bella trying to give me a heart attack. The first time being when she nearly tripped going up the stairs which resulted in me calling Jasper and Emmett to help me move our stuff downstairs. Then there was the whole bathroom incident, where I found her in the bathroom, waiting nearly thirty minutes for me to get home, when she couldn't get herself out. She could have died from hyperthermia and now I knew it was my duty to make sure she was okay.

Lastly, there was the whole Wal- Mart fiasco where my wife promptly threw a tantrum since she couldn't get her pickles. Those fuckers were expensive too. She never wanted the great value ones or the baby dills. She wanted the Vlasic one that came in the large jar with the blue, white and green label. We still had money for the basics: bills, gas, etc., but all the luxury goods had to go including her pickles.

I hated telling her no, but it just wasn't in the budget anymore. There were other necessities that were far more important. I tried to subtly tell her that we couldn't get it, but that only resulted in her getting pissed at me even more.

She threw another fit, claiming I was neglecting her causing all eyes to land on us. I was reaching the brink of insanity and could feel the tendons in my neck and forehead pulse, as I tried to calm down. There was no point in the both of us looking crazy. An employee had came to check on us since we were making such a disturbance when it happened. It was a common mistake. From the way Bella was holding and positioned, she doesn't appear to be pregnant, but when she abruptly turned around, he had to dodge out of her way.

It all happened like clockwork and a set of dominos. The Wal-Mart employee managed to crash into someone and vice-versa until it was complete and utter chaos on the aisle. Bella stood there mortified and I had to quickly grab her hand and hightail it out of there. Call it cowardly or rude of me if you want. If we can't afford pickles, how in the hell can we afford to replace everything that was broken in the process? Yeah you catch my drift.

….

"Is she asleep?" I asked entering the living room, where my mom, Renee, and Gram Swan sat. Bella was sound sleep, her head resting comfortably in her grandmother's lap as Gram pulled one of her wrinkled hands through Bella' hair. I heard my father and Charlie enter behind me, so I knew it was time we all sat down for a little talk. I carefully laid an afghan across her sleeping form, before pressing a soft kiss to her temple. I stared down at Bella for a few minutes. She looked so peaceful and I felt a pang in my chest knowing what her reaction might be once she found out.

By the time I entered the kitchen, I figured my dad had filled them all in. My mom wore a grim expression before wrapping me into a tight hug. I was more than a foot taller than her and had to kneel down just to reach her.

"My poor baby." She muttered and I could hear the tears in her voice.

"Mom, it's okay." I sighed, releasing her. The others looked at me expectedly.

"I did it. I had to." I told all of them.

"He's right. We both did the best we could." My father sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, an obvious trait I had inherited from him. I told them all more about the situation and soon the kitchen became deathly silent.

"What are you going to tell her?" Renee asked, and suddenly the kitchen was a cacophony of voices.

"I honestly don't know what to tell her. Hell, she flipped out on me when I told her we couldn't get pickles, how do you think she'll feel when I tell her I got screwed at work and that we can't afford another house!" I screamed, but stopped when I heard something sounding like a muffled cry come from the living room.

We all ran into the living room, where Bella was giving us all pointed glares. Her eyes were wide and confused, and I could vaguely hear the footfalls of our family disappearing behind me.

"Explain. And I mean now." She breathed, and I sat down beside her knowing this was going to be one of the longest conversations I had ever had in my life.

…

BPOV

"So basically no new car, house, nothing?" Rose chirped as she brought me a glass of juice and a delicious looking banana nut muffin.

"Pretty much and that's not even why I'm mad. I mean I understand why he felt like he had to hide it, but another part of me feels like he doesn't trust me enough to tell me in the first place. I mean, does that even make sense?" I asked.

"You have every right to feel that way. I mean if Emmett kept something like that from me, well… his behind would be smoking over an open fire by now. He was probably just scared" Rose said and we both let out a few giggles. I felt the familiar flutter in my stomach and let out a strained breath.

"Jesus Bella, are you okay?" Rose asked frantically, her fingers itching towards her cell phone.

"Rose, I'm fine. The boys just decided that my ribs would make a nice kicking post." I breathed, rubbing my stomach carefully for a few minutes, the fluttering sensation quickly stopped.

"All boys Bella, I don't know how you'll handle it. One Edward is enough, but 6? I swear Bella, no one will be getting close to you." She laughed. I looked at her confusedly.

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

"Duh Bella, you can be so thick at times. Boys are extremely protective over their mothers and vice versa. I was talking to Alice the other day and Max is in some phase and refuses to let Jasper come anywhere near her without throwing a fit." I rolled my eyes at her amusement.

"Marley was the same way. She stuck to Emmett like glue and would growl at me, like literally growl when I tried to touch, kiss, speak, anything towards him. I guess that's what I get for making a mini me of him with my personality." Rose huffed, picking up a bottle of polish to do my feet. I couldn't see them no way, but at least it gave her something to do.

"You know... Edward sort of wanted a girl?" I told Rose.

"Really?"
"Yeah, we bought a little pink outfit and everything." I grinned at the memory.

"I thought you guys were going gender neutral?" Rose asked, as she finished one foot.

"Oh we still are, despite them being boys. Edward was a little bummed at first, but now he has this idea ingrained in his mind that he's going to create this mini little team of Cullen men, that'll rule the world or something." I shook my head at his ridiculousness.

"That's weird, but um Emmett asked me if we wanted to start trying again…you know for another baby." Rosalie whispered quietly.

"Rose that's great!" I squealed, but stopped when I saw her crestfallen expression.

"Wait, what's wrong?" She looked at me hesitantly.

"I uh… sort of got a hysterectomy." Rose sighed.

"What!" I screeched.

"Shh, I don't think all the people in Seattle heard you." She huffed.

"Sorry, but why? Rose, you love kids." I reasoned.

"I do, but remember when I had you watch Marley awhile back," she started.

"That's when you had it done?" She nodded her head, and looked down at her nails.

"May I ask why?"

"Um, a while back they found a few cysts on my ovaries. They told me it was nothing, but then they multiplied and became cancerous. I had no choice." Rose rasped.

"Why didn't you tell Emmett, he would have stood by you? I would have been there as well." I said, reaching out for her hand.

"It's not like you're in the condition to be going anywhere Bella." She gave me a sheepish smile.

"And? I would have had Edward carry me there or push me, whatever. You shouldn't have to face that all alone. What I don't understand is why didn't you tell Emmett? He worships the ground you walk on."

"I was scared okay?" I avoided the urge to roll my eyes. I swear it was the pot calling the kettle black.

"Weren't you the main one telling me I shouldn't be angry at Edward since he was just feeling a little bit 'scared'?"

"That's different and you know it?" She retorted.

"Is it?" I asked, raising any eyebrow up at her.

"Stop ganging up on me. I already feel bad as it is without you questioning me."

"Babe, I'm not trying to gang up on you. I'm just giving you back your own advice. Edward didn't want to bear the burden anymore so he finally caved. Of course I was the last to know, but that's beside the point. You just said that you would have Emmett's life on a rope if he lied to you and here you're doing the same. That's just not right." I reasoned. Rosalie nodded her head.

"I know, but would you laugh at me if I said I feel less like a woman because of it?" She asked. I shook my head. It amazed me how cool, calm, and collected Rosalie Hale-McCarthy was falling to pieces.

"Girl, you're the epitome of a woman. How about I make you a deal. I'll tell Edward about my concerns, if you tell Emmett about you know what. How does that sound?" I asked.

"I guess so. But what if he hates me because of it?" She breathed.

"He won't and if he does, I have the boys kick his ass." I grinned, and felt a sharp kick to the right side of my ribs.

"Okay, okay. Mommy won't curse anymore." I breathed. Rose let out a chuckle and wiped her eyes.

"So enough with heavy. I'm in the mood for pecan praline ice cream. Sound good?" I asked, as she helped me up.

"Do I get my own carton?" She laughed, knowing how stingy I got lately when it came to food. I gave her the stink eye.

"Uh Rose, I love you, but I get the carton. You'll be lucky if you get a few scoops." I told her amusedly.

"Whatever you say Bella, whatever you say." Rose grinned, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

EPOV

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, entering the living room with a few bags. She sat them down on the coffee table, before snuggling into my side. I let out sigh and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I guess I'm fine." I answered, and felt a small swat on my arm. I looked over at Bella curiously.

"You know I hate that word. I really want to know how you feel. Ever since you told me a couple of days ago, I feel like you're a little distant." She said, her multicolored eyes seeming to bore into my soul.

"I kinda have. I mean I'm supposed to be providing for the both of us...I mean all of us and with all the crap going on at work and not being able to afford a bigger house, a car, etc. I'm just sort of lost. I don't feel like a man." I rambled.

"Edward," Bella sighed, placing a finger against my lips to shut me up.

"It's okay. So what if we don't get a bigger house, we'll just have to rearrange a few things. The car, well we just might have to split it up between the two of us. Three babies with you, three with me. The other stuff...well we'll just ssee how all of that goes. You're making a mountain out of a molehill for no apparent reason." She grinned.

"How are you so calm about this?" I asked.

"I guess I just came to terms with it. You left so abruptly after you told me that you didn't even give me a chance to respond. You have to tell me things baby, or we'll never be able to communicate. For better or worse remember?" she grinned. I rolled my eyes and let out a small laugh.

"Ah, there's a smile. And you'll always be a man in my books, even if you do look like a bum." She grimaced, fingering my holey wife-beater.

"Are we good?" I asked, rubbing her stomach. I felt a small thump against my hand.

"I guess there's your answer." She grinned, and I felt six more thumps.

"Now what was that?" I asked.

"That was your sons telling you that if you ever hide something like that from their mommy again, you won't live to see their birth." Bella smiled, patting my cheek before getting up.

Yep. We were good.