Chapter 1: What the Hell

Prologue
BPOV
All my life, I have wanted kids. A little girl or boy to call my own. I would run my mom, dad and brother crazy with my incessant babbling of children. This of course worried my father, who was just nineteen when they had my older brother Liam, but I often reassured him he had no need to worry. When I wanted kids, I wanted it to be with someone I loved. I wanted what my parents had. My parents had a wonderful relationship, and were still in love with each other as they then. I often wondered if I would ever fall in love.
I considered myself boring. A plain Jane, who kept her head in the books and her mind in the clouds. I was the complete opposite of my brother. He was 4 years older than me, 6'3 with our mother's straight corn silk blonde hair and our father's honey brown eyes. He was extremely outgoing, and very ambitious. I on the other hand, stood at 5'8, had our father's curly mahogany locks, and then there were my eyes. In fact, my eyes were the only things I had really liked about myself. Liam had said it made me even more "beautiful." I had complete Heterochromia, meaning that my eyes were two completely different colors. My left pupil, my mother's eerie ice blue, and my right, my father's honey brown. I was extremely shy, and often hid behind by brother for everything. He was my best friend, and we kept each other's secrets. The biggest secret between us being the fact that he was gay, until he proudly came out. The say our parents were not surprised actually surprised the two of us. Also mentioning the fact that although he loved kids, they just were not for him. This pushed pressure on me to have kids of my own one day. I was only seventeen, and as much as loved kids, I had other dreams I wanted to accomplish.
I wanted to write. I loved writing. It was just something about putting words to paper that intrigued me. I always had a vivid imagination and hoped that others one day would get to read my words. I had been accepted to NYU to major in English literature. I even had my own little mentality that I lived by, prompted my favorite quote.
"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will."- Chuck Palahniuk
My life seemed to revolve around that quote, to create something that would forever leave my mark on the world, whether it was in a book, or bringing another life into the world. I never thought it would apply to the second one until he stormed into my life knocking me off my feet.
I could remember it like it was yesterday. I was eighteen in my sophomore year of college. My best friend Angela and I were out for the summer and decided to spend it with our families in Forks. Angela and I were like night and day. Where as my brother was my best male friend, Angela was my best girlfriend. She was shy like me, but when we got together, we were just as outrageous as any other teenagers were. With her olive colored skin, dark locks and soft hazel eyes, she was a beauty to be reckoned with, but tended to fray away from attention that came her way. We had decided to make a trip to Seattle, to do a little shopping. I hated shopping, but being the good friend I was, I decided to tag along.
….. Flashback…8 years ago
"Ang." I whined. "My feet hurt. I'm ready to go home." I breathed as she pulled me hastily to our rental car for what felt like the eightieth time.
"Jeez Bella. It's only been 6 hours." she sighed, like it was the most normal thing in the world. It was one of those rare hot days in Seattle, and it was blazing. Angela had someway coxed me into wearing some shorts that stopped mid thigh that made my legs look sexy (her words not mine) and a navy blue wife beater that seemed to make my pale skin looked luminescent (again her words not mine). I was hot, hungry, and seconds away from calling my brother to come rescue me. After feeding me, I seriously though we were going to head back home when she began dragging me towards what looked like a huge tattoo shop.
"No!" I screeched. We had talks of getting one, one day, but I did not mean now. She continued to pull me, although I had at least 4 inch height difference. I tried to pull out of her grasp, but held her grip firm until we were at the door. I tried smacking her hand away, but it seemed pointless. I barely had enough to see the title of the shop "Volturi Tat's" when we were soon inside. Surprisingly no one seemed to be doing anything, although they had about twelve people lounging around talking to each other. They obviously musty have saw Angela's and me exchange outside, because all of their faces held amused smiles. I felt my skin flush, and I was glad my sunglasses covered my face, at least masking somewhat of my face. A short black haired girl bounded up to us. She was extremely pretty, and looked to be few years older than me. I wondered why she would work at such place, seeing that she had no tattoos or piercing of her own. Her blue eyes were wide with excitement.
"Hi I'm Alice! What can we do for you?" she asked bouncing in place, and I could still feel everyone's eyes on us.
"I'm Angela and this is Bella. We're here to get a tattoo." Angela beamed, but I shook my head, raising my hands.
"Correction, she is here to get a tattoo. I was brought here against my will." I huffed.
"Such a baby." she said, popping me in the stomach. I winced. Angela was extremely heavy handed.
"So abusive." I muttered, and heard a husky chuckle. I looked over to see a green-eyed Adonis lounging back in a chair smiling at me. He was gorgeous. He looked about 6'4, and was dressed in dark wash jeans with a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His square jaw bared a crooked grin with the smallest hint of stubble. My eyes raked over his muscled arms that revealed a small slither of a tattoo against one of his biceps. I was glad that I had my glasses on because my eyes were probably bugging out of my head at the moment. His eyes were raking over my body and for once, I was glad I had listened to Angela about my clothing choices instead of my usual "frumpy" wear. (Angela…again)
My eyes coasted over the others in the room. There was a tall blonde man who stood beside Alice. He had tattoos running down the both of his arms, and was looking at me curiously. Beside the two of them stood a beautiful blonde-haired woman next to a huge muscular guy. He looked like he could snap my arm in two if he wanted, but his grinning pair of dimples seemed to stray that belief. Lastly, there were the three Native American guys who sat in each one of the tattoo stations. Two of them had girls perched on their laps, and they all offered me a small smile. I found it odd, that they were all just sitting there doing nothing, but then again, it was Sunday, so it was probably a ,slow day.
"Well then, if you're going to get a tattoo then I'm your guy. I'm Ben." One of the guys said coming from the back room. He was tall, about 6'0, with jet black hair and blue eyes His arms and neck were covered in tattoos. His eyes flickered over to me for a brief second before focusing directly on Angela. I looked over to see her looking in awe. Her mouth was slightly open, and I wouldn't be surprised if she started drooling. She was grinning softly, blinking her eyelashes and I smiled knowing that this was just like her to do so. Although Angela was shy when she wanted something, she would do anything to get what she wanted.
"Subtle." I coughed, and she smacked me again on the arm hitting the same sore spot once more. I let out a small squeak.
"You know that's called spousal abuse." I huffed, and she just flipped me off, following Ben into the other room. This of course left me as the center of attention. I looked back over to the gorgeous man on the couch noticing that his eyes had never once left my face. I wondered if he knew I was staring back just as hard as he was. I should feel flattered, but I felt a little conscious, knowing that he was openly staring at me. Even the others seemed to notice, all of them letting out a small chuckle every now and then. I pulled my sunglasses from my face. Usually I kept them on even inside, since my eyes were very sensitive, but luckily it wasn't so bright inside the shop. I was so use to taking them off, that I forgot that it was uncommon to see people with two different colored pupils.
"Whoa freaky eyes." the large one said loudly, earning a smack to the head, from the gorgeous blonde beside him.
"I'm sorry for my husband's rudeness, but then again your eyes are sort of freaky." she laughed shrugging her shoulders.
"Yeah I know." I sighed. Although I liked my eyes, others often criticized them, either claiming that I was a freak or just faking, using colored contacts.
"I think they're beautiful." a husky voice whispered and I felt my skin flush knowing that it was him that spoke.
"That's so cool. I wished my eyes were two different colors; imagine the makeup possibilities to compliment them." Alice squealed clapping her hands. I looked at her wide-eyed, wondering if she was having a seizure.
"You're scaring her Alice." the blonde guy beside her said, my eyes shifting from his blue eyes over to the grass green that seemed to never leave my face.
"Where are our manners? I'm Jasper Whitlock and this is my girlfriend Alice Brandon. The big guy over there is my best friend Emmett McCarthy and his wife Rosalie. The ones in the chairs are Jacob Black, Seth Clearwater and Sam Uley, with Leah Clearwater and Sam's wife Emily on his lap. The guy openly staring at you is my other best friend Edward Cullen." Jasper said. I took a quick glance from my peripheral vision to see him offering me a small smile. Ah, so he was a Cullen. From what I knew of his family, he was an only child, and heir to the million dollar Cullen Pharmaceuticals franchise. What he was doing in a tattoo shop was beyond me. I gave him a small smile.
"Now that those introductions are over…. Alice started, but Emmett interrupted her.
"So Bella, what brings you to our neck of the woods? I've never seen you before and trust me, I know everybody around here." he smirked and Edward threw him an agitated frown. I brushed a few strands of hair from my face and answered him.
"Well Angela and I both attend The University of Miami. We're both out for the summer and decided to visit our folks in Forks. We decided to hit Seattle for shopping purposes." I shrugged.
"Wait Forks?" he asked. "That's where we're all from." Edward grinned, and that was the first I had really heard him speak. His voice sounded like honey and velvet.
"Such a small world." he laughed, grinning at me crookedly and I felt my heart flutter a bit in my chest.
"Really? I knew your last name sounded familiar?" I said, and a small smile graced his face.
"So what about you then? You say that your folks are from Forks. Maybe we know them." Alice grinned.
"Yeah I bet we do." Rosalie nodded.
"Well Angela's last name is Webber." I started.
"Oh, the pastor's daughter. Nice family." Rosalie said and everyone nodded.
"And you?" Who I think was Leah asked.
"Guess." I smiled. Most of the people around here knew that I was the chief's daughter, but to the rare few who didn't, I wanted them to guess. They all looked at me confusedly, their eyes raking over my features as they tried to figure out who my parents were. After a few minutes, I let out a small giggle.
"You really don't know?" I laughed, and they shook their heads, although I had a small feeling that they knew, especially from the small smile that was threatening to spread over Edward's face. Hmm, but then again, although most people saw the resemblance between my father and I, it was always seemed to be the eyes that threw people off.
"No I'm coming up with a blank here. " Emmett sighed, obviously defeated.
"Swan." I said, rolling my eyes. Emmett became quiet, and soon he let out a hearty laugh.
"Holy crap, you're Chief Swan's kid." he breathed.
"Bingo." I smiled, and everyone broke out into fits of laughter.
"Oh man, of all the people to come strolling in." he grinned.
That little tidbit of information seemed to break the ice, as we fell into easy conversation. Edward said nothing, but continued to stare at me, a soft smile playing on his lips. It was not long before Angela came back looking a little disheveled, a bandage freshly wrapped around the back of her neck. Ben trailed out behind her a huge grin on his face.
"Had fun?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her and she blushed. Angela never blushed. I stood up and gave her bag, humming the melody to Let's Get it on. She smacked me in the chest.
"You know I'm going to leave you, if you don't stop with the abuse." I muttered, rubbing my stomach. She just stuck her tongue out at me. I looked at everyone to see them obviously amused from our interaction.
"How long are you guys down here?" Alice asked, bouncing once more in place.
"The whole summer, well at least for me. This hooker is leaving me next week to go on some stupid retreat." I huffed, pouting at her. I was going to be extremely bored this summer, left to fiend off with my brother who loved to dress me up. The traitor patted my shoulder.
"You'll live." She grinned.
"You can spend it with us then. What's one more to the bunch?" Alice squealed loudly and I found myself nodding scared at what she was going to do next.
"We'll see." I laughed as I gave Alice my phone watching amusedly as she typed her number into my phone and vice versa. Angela pulled me to the door, waving our goodbyes as she flashed Ben a coy grin. I wanted to turn around and catch a small glimpse of Edward, but Angela had pulled me out the door. Sighing much to her amusement we headed back to the rental, settling ourselves in, as she prepared to drive us back to Forks.
True to Alice's word, less than a week after Angela left, she invited me to join them on a picnic, where I met the rest of their little extended family. Again, Edward would just sit there and stare at me, but I soon found myself doing the same studying the grass green of his eyes with the golden flecks in them. The others would laugh at us for our little staring game but it had soon became our routine for the complete duration of the summer, and I felt saddened when I realized that my time was up.
It was the end of the summer. Edward and I were doing our little staring thing again. We were at his parent's end of the summer bash, where most of us were heading our separate ways. I was leaving for Florida in the morning and Edward back to Los Angeles to finish his last year of college in business management. Neither one of us had wanted it to end, but we soon had to face reality. The others had soon realized to leave us to our little personal bubble, as they enjoyed the last few moments of summer. It was getting late and I knew that I had to leave soon, to go prepare my things. I had just finished giving my goodbyes to everyone and was about to leave when Edward called my name from the base of the stairs. This was a rarity for us. We often never spoke, letting our eyes speak for one another.
"Yes Edward?" I whispered, leaning against the doorframe.
"I'm going to miss you." he said softly, coming to wrap his arms around me.
"I'm going to miss you too." I whispered, my voice slightly breaking as tears threatened to fall from my eyes. We stood there for a few minutes, ignoring the few stares and whispers of his friends and family. We were about to break apart when he whispered in my ear.
"You know you're going to marry me one day right?" He whispered, and a small smile spread across my face. It was odd to feel such things in two months, let alone without any type of conversation between us, but I couldn't help but beam at him. Of course we had to learn more about one another before that happened, but there was time for that later. "Yeah I know, and when that day comes I'm going to say yes." I grinned, kissing his cheek, as we pulled apart. I walked over to the doorway not even bothering to turn around knowing that my departure was going to make it even harder.
"Good night Edward." I whispered, closing the door behind me, smiling softly when I heard a soft "Goodnight Bella."
….
Contrary to belief, that one day turned into 8 months later. I had become Mrs. Edward Cullen. Everyone thought we were too young to marry but I found myself falling in love with him more and more each day. Just because we were married didn't mean our life was over, we were just starting another chapter. We learned so much about each other, our conversations ending until the early hours of the morning. I was finally content with life with Edward by my side. My life was perfect and I couldn't wait to spend it with Edward. Everything was perfect.
….
Chapter 1 (Present Day)
BPOV
"What are you doing Bella?" Alice asked, holding my small little wiener dog Jerry in her hands.
"Huh? I'm sorry what were you saying?" I blinked.
"You were staring at the wall for about fifteen minutes. Where did you go?" she asked, concern etched in her tone.
"No where. I just feel weird I guess." I answered. It was a strange feeling really. My stomach was beginning to cramp up so I figured my period was about to start. God, I hated my period at the moment.
"It's because of Tanya's baby shower isn't it?" Alice said, sitting down on the bed beside me. Edward had left earlier with the guys while we girls attended the baby shower. One of my other close friends, who also happened to be Edward's ex girlfriend, was pregnant with her third child.
Children. I admit I felt envious of her. Edward and I had been trying for the past four years, to no use. I had got the plus twice, only to be disappointed when I went to the doctor to see that it was false. The strangest part being that nothing was physically wrong with either one of us, we just couldn't conceive. Sex. We went at it like rabbits, Edward barely having time to come through the door some days before I attacked him and still nothing. I even resorted to a fertility clinic and was prescribed Clomid, a common fertility drug to help me along, but still nothing. I took it faithfully on my 3rd day of menstruation and nada. Nothing at all. I was told it didn't work for everyone, but I felt like I should keep trying.
I had finished college with my degree in English, working as a teacher at a private school teaching twelfth grade students. It was a far stretch from writing but it was close enough for me. Edward was working as CEO of the company, putting his degree to good use. Edward and I had moved to Seattle after I graduated to be with our family and friends. In fact Jasper and Alice lived two houses away from us with their little boy Max.
Nearly everyone in our little group had, had children, Jasper and Alice with their 3 year old Max, Rose and Emmett with their 6 year old Marley, Sam and Emily with their 7 year old twins Claire and Kim, Leah and Jacob with their 4 year old Jake Jr. who we called JJ.
"A little." I answered as she rubbed my back soothingly. That still didn't soothe the butterflies I had in my stomach. I was twenty five with most of my life in check and still without the one thing I had wanted the most. I let out a soft groan.
"You know we don't have to go right?" Alice said, as she lay down beside me, Jerry snuggling into the crook of my neck. He was such a little silly dog. Edward had given to me after our second false positive, I guess to replace the ache it had left in my heart.
"No we have to. Tanya would want us to be there." I sighed, getting up feeling a little uneasy on my feet.
"You okay there Bella" You're looking a little green." Alice said concernedly at me.
"Yeah I'm fine." I lied. I was nauseous and my breasts were aching. Common sign that my period was coming which meant that it was arriving soon which also meant again, that I wasn't pregnant. I grabbed her hand.
"Ready?" she asked, fixing the ruffles of her skirt.
"Ready as I'll ever be." I sighed, grabbing the baby bag from my bed.
…Three weeks later….
"Jeez bitch, I thought your period ended already." I glared as my brother came in flopping down on the bed beside me. School had been out for break for the past two weeks, and I had been at home , spending much of my time munching into a tub of Ben and Jerry's. Edward was at work, to much of my and his relief. Lately, I was on the warpath. My mood swings were driving us all crazy, and I was surprised that none of were suffering from whiplash. I wouldn't even let Edward touch me. I was extremely moody since Tanya's baby's shower, also adding that my period was on, everyone knew to leave me to my little funk. I was extremely tired,not even bothering to take care of myself, besides showering, usually lounging in a pair of Edward's sweats and t-shirt. To satisfy my mood I satisfied myself with my favorite foods, often Alice or Rosalie to accompany me. I was now watching Sex and the City and was feeling incredibly sorry for myself. I raised another spoonful of my chocolate delicousness to my mouth.
"You could at least share." Liam huffed, kicking off his shoes as he laid down beside me, resting his head beside me on my pillow.
"I better not be laying in any of your juices." he smirked, grabbing the spoon from my hand and grabbing a mouthful of ice cream.
"You're just lucky, I changed the sheets. I grinned, taking the spoon back to dig into my little chocolaty heaven. We laid there for about another hour watching televison, passing the spoon between us, until we finished it off.
"You know you have to get out of this little bitch fit you're having right?" He said, turning on his side to look at me. He was very blunt and to the point and that was what I loved about my big brother. He was so direct.
"I know. I guess I'm just feeling really sorry for myself." I sighed, staring at the ceiling.
"You need to stop that. You're running us all crazy. Seth even came home looking scared to death." Liam huffed. Yeah my brother was dating the same Seth from the shop. They met at my wedding and it was love at first sight. They were together ever since.
"Do you know how hard it is for me to make him calm down? I have to nibble on his…" he started but I cut him off.
"Please don't finish that sentence, or you'll be meeting my chocolate ice cream all over again." I moaned. I definitely didn't want to hear about my brother's sex life.
"Whatever. Get your fat ass up. Let's go on a run, before the others get here," Liam said bouncing up off the bed. For some reason, him calling me fat hurt, and tears welled in my eyes.
"What's wrong Belly?" he asked, grabbing me to his chest and that made the tears come even faster.
"What's wrong?" He asked panicking, as he rocked back and forth.
"You…you called me fat." I bawled. It was completely ridiculously of me to be crying, but I was just felt so hurt from his words.
"Uh…I'm sorry B. You're not fat." He said, like he was trying to hold back his laughter.
"Really?" I smiled, my tears beginning to immediately cease.
"Yes, now let's go. Besides we have to pick up the pizzas later." he said, leaving out of the room. Oh that's right. It was our annual game night. We were all die hard football fans, and would pick a game to watch on the big screen and have a party. I guess it was our turn to have it at our house.
I slowly pulled myself off the bed. I was in a pair of Edward's shorts and a oversized t-shirt. I had been suffering from hot flashes, and chills, usually leaving me either removing my clothing, or piling it on. I felt the cool air hit my stomach, so I figured my shirt had ridden up a bit. I had already had my sports tank and bra on underneath my shirt, so I quickly removed them. I stretched to soothe my aching joints in my back, and nearly jumped a foot in the air when Liam came back into the room and let out a startled gasp.
"Bella, tell me that isn't what I think it is." he gasped.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, rotating my shoulder a bit.
"Either you're extremely bloated or gained about twenty pounds in the mid area in the past two weeks. And considering the fact that your period ended already, I really hope it's the second one." he breathed.
"Seriously Li, what are you talking about?" I asked. He was beginning to scare me. He just pointed at my stomach. I looked down and staggered back, thanking god that the bed was behind me to break my fall.
"What in the hell is that?" I whispered, as I stared at the noticeably large bump that was my stomach.
"I was hoping you would tell me" He breathed, and I nodded my head.
I wish someone would tell me." I breathed, as I continued to stare at my stomach.